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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

New Dictionary Words!

Mind Hack-
(20th century version) physical methods used to bypass cerebral cortex to achieve contentment and bliss (see hacksaw); (21st century version) virtual methods used to bypass cerebral cortex to achieve contentment and bliss (see Grand Theft Auto IV); (talkshow version) any psychologist endorsed by Oprah.

Little Albert
- Famous experiment conducted in 1920 by the psychologist John B. Watson, in which he demonstrated that hitting a gong behind an innocent child will scare the bejesus out of him, and thus condition him to be be afraid of a little white rat, including of course James Watson (also a rat). Thus through this Pavlovian association, we know that fast cars bring sex, three push-ups a week mean toned bodies, and that hugging babies means a politician is your best friend.

The 'Secret' - a psychological pearl of wisdom, handed down by the ancients and known heretofore only our founding fathers and Ben Franklin, that is available for $29.95 at the Oprah Bookstore. Similar secrets (also previously known only to Ben) are also available at workshops, seminars, lectures, and through $400 psychology journal subscriptions.

References- A psychological garnish, or list of indigestible citations found at the end of books or scholarly articles that prove that the author did his homework and therefore must have his cloddish ideas be taken more seriously than your unreferenced common sense.

SCR- Also known as the GSR, and is equivalent to the EKG yet different from the SCL and can be also be measured by the EEG and MRI. Also used to demonstrate the persuasive power of three letter acronyms.

See the Mezmer Dictionary for more

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