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Saturday, July 02, 2005

Sexual Agendas In History

Sexual Agendas in History

We often feel nostalgia for past times when things were a lot more pleasant and uncomplicated. To some extent, this estimate is true, since past generations did not have such a wide array of choices as we do today in terms of life style, material possessions, and educational opportunities. In the past, there were a lot more important things to think about, like simple survival; and even the most basic romantic notions had to take second place to more fundamental needs. Times were simpler then, but they were more threatening too, and society values were very practical responses to these perilous circumstances. Being conventional then wasn’t the result of a whimsical choice, it was simple practicality, and nostalgia was ill placed if we didn’t understand the cold reasons for the quaint behavior of the past. In the comparisons to follow, we’ll note the swings in social values of medieval, post World War II, and contemporary times. ‘Tis a shame that we live in unquaint times.

A Night Out on the Town
Medieval Village: "Let’s pop over to Calais, I hear Charles the Bold is battering its walls down."
Post War: "Let’s take your hot rod to the sock hop for some jitterbugging."
Yup-Generation: "Let’s travel this evening to Pluto to visit the 3rd Galactic Conference. Just take this green pill here, and snort this white stuff, and soon you’ll see the Venusians landing in my back yard to pick us up."

The Bachelor Pad
Medieval Village: A straw bed, wooden stool, three cackling chickens, and twelve other members of his immediate family huddled in a corner.
Post War: A Hi-Fi system, framed Norman Rockwell print, plaid couch, and a rack of Tommy Dorsey records.
Yup Generation: Yupamichi Trinonix CD system with super woofers, some white plastic modular furniture, a Lay-z-Boy with complete instrumentation and tachometer, a modular TV, cable ready VCR, internet access, and a satellite dish capable of receiving daily transmission from Voyager 9.

Medieval Village: "I’ll give you three cows and two sheep for Brunhilde."
Post War: "Oh Jane! I love you! Let’s get married and build a family!"
Yup-Generation: "Let’s live together for a year or so before we get married, but first lets sign a pre-nuptial agreement. Of course, if we divorce, you can have the kid."

Sex Appeal
Medieval Village: "That Brunhilde’s a real fox. She’s 14 years old and she still has all her teeth! And she’s fat too! That must mean she’s wealthy enough to afford food.
Post War: "Doesn’t Carol look nice in her evening gown? She’s the highlight of the Navy dance."
Yup-Generation: "Bambi looks real yummie in her spray on edible dress, purple blouse, green eyelashes, and pink hair!"

Birth Control
Medieval Village: By sacrificing this calf to the God Wotan, he will intercede, and limit our family to just 15 kids.
Post War: "Well, Carol, since the rhythm method is unreliable, I think we should abstain from relations for the time being."
Yup-Generation: "I think I’ll stay on the pill for a couple more years, and utilize the local sperm bank or cloning center for our first child."

Medieval Village: "Well, Mathilde, I’m off to petition the Pope for an annulment. I figure that by fast mule, I’ll be back in just three years.
Post War: "Honey, we’ve got to stay together for the next five years until the children are fully grown."
Yup-Generation: "Your honor! I gave this man three whole months of my life, and I believe it only fair that you decide in my favor in this palimony suit, and give me a modest share of Charlie’s property, like 90 percent."

Sexual Dysfunction
Medieval Village: "What! Another girl child! I should have never married a lady so physically incapable of having boys!"
Post War: "Well Carol, I think as your family doctor that your depression is a delayed effect of menopause."
Yup-Generation: "Like man, I really don’t worry about catching any of those weird social diseases. I’m immune! By the way, is that my ear in your soup?

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