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Friday, January 12, 2007

Mezmer's New iPhone (i for idiot that is)

I don't know about you, but I am weary of super cool must have products that promise the world but end up sucking out your time and productivity on one hand, and your money on the other. It all must end sometime, which I figure will be in a century or two. Thank God I will not be around when this final model of the i-phone is served up.

But what do I know? So here is what our grandchildren can look forward to in the future, a cool phone, search device, time waster, and portable Matrix.

-Processor Intel quantum computer, with one google-plex operations a second, running the Google OS of course.

- MPEG player 1 tera-tera flop hard drive with room for all music known to man, including everything you've hummed since birth.

- Search tool for all possible knowledge, including stuff not thought of yet, such as all one trillion lost plays of Shakespeare, derived from the super fast emulation of lots of monkeys hunting and pecking on typewriters.

- Web cam to continually monitor your life and after life.

- Compact design the size of amoeba, and implanted in your cerebral cortex, is charged forever by that nacho you ate this morning.

Universal Connectivity connects to i-tv, i-life, and i-consciousness.

With Mezmer's i-phone, you don't just phone, you are the phone. So if upon dialing you find yourself walking about nude in Paradise picking apples, know that you can say here too that an Apple is the cause of your predicament.

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