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Saturday, July 02, 2005

About Dr. Mezmer

About Dr. Mezmer

Dr. Mezmer is presently Dean of the School of Bad Psychology at the Academy of Lagado; Laputa, Kansas.
I received my undergraduate degree USC (1), and my Ph.D. in psychology at MIT (2).
(1) University of Southern Caledonia
(2) Massachusetts Institute of Taxidermy (proves that I know my stuffing)
Race: Half Elf
Career: Psychologist, Cleric
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Constitution 9
Dexterity 7
Intelligence 17
Wisdom 18
Strength: 7
Horniness: 19
Magic Spells:
Detect Bullshit—can detect really stupid journal articles upon reading just their titles.
Create Flame mail-- will singe the egos of bad psychologists within six squares.
My vitae, or in other words, stuff I got published.BooksThe Ten Habits of Irritating People, 1995, Scurrilous Press
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: The Extraterrestrial Origin of the Sexes, 1992, Faux Pas Press
Since these articles are in a list of vague journals you won’t find anywhere except in the seventh floor stacks of the University of Manitoba, I am confident that you the reader will not travel to Canada to confirm their high fraudulent content.

Mezmer , A. Where’s the God darn bus?: an analysis of disjunctive nose scratching, fidgeting, and foot stomping behaviors while under fixed interval bus schedules. Journal of the Experimental Analysis of Chuck, book 1, page 2, paragraph 3, 3rd sentence.
Mezmer, A. and M.S. Landers, Being the Beav: The influence of 3rd grade teachers as a stimulant to auto-erogenous impulses in pre-adolescent males, Beaver Studies, Episode 59, 1959, CBS
Mezmer, A. Are little white pills more effective on aches and pains? A comparative analysis of deviance of the healing powers of little white, little blue, and little red stripy pills on the imagined aches of fat, stupid housewives. Annals of Hypochondriacal Medicine, 201 Main. St., 4th floor, 5th on left, middle book on the top shelf, p. 234-245
Mezmer, A. Finding Homunculus: an insecure inner self or just a confident little guy? Journal of Applied Humanistic Physiological Psychology, Vol.1, verse 10, ch. 9
Mezmer, A. Motivation: intrinsic, extrinsic, or why I still don’t want to mow the lawn.
Journal of Sociable Psychology, Stardate 112.6, Gamma Epsilon Quadrant.
Mezmer, A. and Oop, Ally The Nose on My Face: why is it that plain? (20,000 B.C.) Journal of Paleolithic Psychology, Lascaux Cave, Side Cavern, Upper Ceiling, Third etching.

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