Which brings me to the most elusive formula of all: the recipe of the crabbie pattie. As we all know, or at least those who have to watch Saturday morning cartoons with a young child, the crabbie pattie recipe is known only to Spongebob Squarepants and Mr. Crabs, the latter proprietor of the 'Crusty Crab', a sort of Wendy's of the deep. Now, as the Crabbie patty is the source of all culinary goodness, there are nefarious sorts, well one mainly, who wants this secret to reach ultimate power and 1 billion served. The evil doer is near microscopic in size (to match his creativity and wit), but has outsized ambitions to steal the recipe if he cannot create a similar one for his own restaurant: the 'Chum Bucket' (with not quite one served). As we all know, he never succeeds, as he invariably does himself in by falling on his own sword, or rather evil contraptions, and gets blown to bits each episode.
Green Little Guy
Unlike food recipes, psychology recipes are gladly shared with others, providing you acknowledge its source and have a royalty check in hand. Secondly, psychologists have an often inordinate faith in the formulae they come up with, even if the resulting concoction has no more appeal than a bucket of chum. I found this out in correspondence with a certain Dr. Steven Hayes, a psychology professor who has his own secret sauce, which he calls Relational Frame Theory, a concept that completely baffles me. As a philosopher myself with more holes in my head than a certain yellow sponge, I sent him for review my own secret recipe Itty-Bitty Self Help Book.
To make matters simpler, he responded with his own formula, which I also can't understand, but no matter. It's with this formula below that he will take
Dr. Hayes' Crabbie Pattie Recipe
by storm the psychological world. So be prepared, as I will surely be, for another surefire recipe that will tickle and satisfy our palates, like a bucket of chum.